It’s a pleasant experience; reading a well written film review. Poetic language, painstakingly structured references, and well-chewed wads of charismatic cynicism can read like buttered Dove eggs slipping off a teflon-coated mirror… when cinema is exceptionally good! But there’s a fuck-tonne of crap movies that get anxious nods because they’ve received an award nomination. Pfffft! What a waste of time; sniffing pompously at flatulent films.

I’ve  heavy-handedly critiqued some films that have been nominated for Academy Award(s) this year… but I still get to be a little self-indulgent.

Hacksaw Ridge (Gibson, 2016)

Mel Gibson directs films that turn out to be pretty entertaining…usually.

Hacksaw Ridge is comparable to anything Clint Eastwood has directed following Million Dollar Baby; it’s a heavy-handed-sandbag-of-a-movie full of red chunks of patriotism, white clusters of religious back-patting, and blue puffs of propaganda. These themes are so obvious that they flap an itchy brown cloud of bullshit over any salvageable components of the film.

I can’t enjoy quality violence and epically constructed war scenes (like the ones in Hacksaw Ridge) when the director is trying to manoeuvre his all-American Jesus Lollipop into my anus.

Sum Up

Hacksaw Ridge: Rad war scenes smeared with the skid-marks from a charismatically brain-damaged religious person, who probably yells a lot.

One exclamation mark out of five
(!)  – (!)(!)(!)(!)


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