REVIEW #1

 

 

NOBLES PUREAU PURE WATER

 

If you’re like me when it comes to water, you’re wary of harmful substances inhabiting both tap, and bottled water. Chlorine, bacteria and especially fluoride, can completely fuck up what should be a pleasurable experience, rehydrating.

 

Chlorine belongs in pools. Bacteria belongs on genitals and in carnival food and fluoride, as an additive to drinking water, is the government’s villainous attempt to calcify the populations collective pineal glands (aka their third eyes), leaving humanity stripped of their natural ability to communicate with nature and each other by way of ultra cool frequencies. The pineal gland is also considered ‘principal seat of the soul’ which pretty much makes it your mind’s g-spot.

Did you honestly believe the government adds fluoride to water for society’s benefit? To protect our teeth?! As if those bunch of stubborn gravy stains are going to spend money to help people, that’s fuckin’ crazy!

 Anyway, I’ve sampled all manner of drinking water and the best I’ve come across is Nobles Pureau Pure Water. To the best of my knowledge it’s sold in 5 and 10 litre casks, is free from aforesaid nasties and is BPA free (meaning no Bisphenol-A is used in packaging, not that I know what that is).

NPPW goes down smooth and has absolutely no aftertaste. It’s great for swallowing pills, rinsing toothbrushes, spraying across the room during fits of laughter and drinking throughout the day.

 5 litres will cost you around $5 and the 10 litre cask is economically priced at around $8

 This product gets 3 and a half capfuls of lovedust to wash out 5 gravy stains.

 

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